Caring

How do you feel cared for? I mean, what does someone (or even something) do that makes you feel cared for, even loved? It’s interesting what can impact us in this way.
The second cat that came into our home literally wandered up to me while I was gardening and, after reaching out to his owner, it became a part of my family. I had no intention of adding more pets to our house, at least not for some time, but I guess maybe I’m just a softy.
And though I’ve had some issues to work out with this kitten, I really enjoy that he likes to cuddle. Though the older one does crawl on my lap and rub my legs, he does so on his schedule. He still seems to think he’s the boss in our house...maybe he is. This kitten, however, will almost always crawl up, cuddle and get as close to my face as possible any chance he gets.
And I’ve found that I like the combination. The older one is super soft and enjoys being carried around (which works well for a 4 year old girl). And the kitten just wants to snuggle all the time. And, I’ve found, that the kitten who I wasn’t sure I wanted gives me some comfort on a day to day basis. But the older one seems to come and comfort me on the days I need a little extra love.
And as nice as it is to be comforted by a cat, we all need human comfort throughout our lives, too. Henri Nouwen wrote, “To care, one must offer one’s own vulnerable self to others as a source of healing.” And what I understand him saying here is that in order to truly care for someone else, we must be vulnerable ourselves. And that’s often where relationships can fall short when it comes to caring for each other. Comfort and caring can feel shallow or robotic, even when we genuinely care for someone else, because we haven’t been vulnerable. We haven’t opened ourselves to being hurt in our caring, so we don’t comfort like we could. It is only through being open to pain, hurt and even awkwardness to truly care and comfort someone else.
This vulnerability only comes through true honesty, and truly opening up ourselves. James expresses this well in 5.16, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” It doesn’t get more vulnerable than to confess our sins, our shortcomings or our failures. And then through the confession and prayer, then we can truly care for others.
Nouwen also writes, “…real care means the willingness to help each other in making our brokenness into a gateway to joy.” I pray we seek to care for those around us well, helping carry them from brokenness into joy. God bless.