Commitment

Commitment is a big, sometimes scary, word these days. We like to keep our options open and to have the ability to change our mind on a whim. And some of us are better about that than others. But it’s the nature of our individualistic worldview. If I’m not happy somewhere or in something or with a certain group, I’ll just leave it and find another place to fill that need. We do this all the time, from our marriages to our favorite cookie brand.
But that’s balanced out by our routine, too. The older we get, it seems, the more and more we get settled into a pattern, even a rut. We’ve had the same car insurance company for 40 years. We’ve bought the same cereal for even longer. And unless there’s a problem, we don’t usually even question it.
But that’s where the rub comes in, right? Conflict. Discomfort. Anger. We’re okay with things until it’s not what we want. The premium on our car insurance can only go up unexpectedly for a while before we consider changing it.
Unfortunately, like most things in life, there’s a balance needed here. We don’t want to stay in a rut, but we also need to stick to our commitments. We need to know the line of when to stay and when to go. But, honestly, I think more of us need to remain committed to what we’ve chosen to be a part of. We need to default to faithfulness rather than simply leaving when things get hard.
This Benedictine vow sums it up well: “We vow to remain all our life with our local community. We live together, pray together, work together, relax together. We give up the temptation to move from place to place in search of an ideal situation. Ultimately there is not escape from oneself, and the idea that things would be better someplace else is usually an illusion. And when interpersonal conflicts arise, we have a great incentive to work things out and restore peace. This means learning the practices of love: acknowledging one’s own offensive behavior, giving up one’s preferences, forgiving.”
What sticks out to me most from this vow is the line ‘acknowledging one’s own offensive behavior’. As part of a community, often times we find ways to ‘tolerate’ others without looking at how we might correct our own offensive behavior. Notice that it doesn’t say wrong or bad behavior. It might just be irritating or annoying. Have we ever considered what behavior that is for us?
For me, I like to argue. I realize it’s annoying, but I also see some value in it, at times. And, I’m working on finding the balance. But how much better would our communities (churches, clubs, South Fulton) be if we truly focused on our contribution (good and bad) toward it rather than seeing the problems in those around. I pray we grow stronger through our effort. God bless.