Words

It’s always interesting to hear what others think about us based upon what they’ve heard from a third party. I mean, we’ve all developed an expectation of someone else based solely on another person’s experience and description of them, right? Maybe we’ve never met them, but someone else has told us ‘all about them’ and our opinion of them can be either good or bad depending on those words, right?
Recently I was talking with someone who I am just starting to get to know better. And as we talked, she shared with me that she had received a phone call a few years (yes years) back about me and my life situation at the time. As she shared about that phone call, the person with whom she was speaking was informing her of what was happening in my life and the experience I was going through. And the person calling shared a very supportive and life-giving image of me in that call, which led to a more positive image of me for this person I am getting to know. And even years later, that positive and affirming message still lingered in her mind and, as a result, uplifted me as well.
However, the opposite can easily happen, too. There have been numerous times where I hear, even years later, about some comment or criticism about me and a choice I made or even a sin I committed. And it’s through a third party hearing certain stories about me who then developed a negative view of me, even if they’ve never met me.
And my point is this: often we say things about someone without considering the ramifications of our comments, especially to a third party. But again, that can be either positive or negative. If we speak positively about someone else, it can be so warming and supportive to hear these things later. However, negative words can sting like a fresh bite just as easily even after decades. And we all do it, and often don’t realize how often we do.
But even more, I’ve found that when I speak negative words about some else to a third party, my attitude toward them gets even more negative. But, the opposite is true, too. When I speak life-giving and honoring words of a person, even if I don’t particularly like them, I find myself feeling more positive toward them.
Paul writes in Ephesians 4.29, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (NIV) I pray that we keep in mind the power of our attitude and our words as they impact those who hear us now and those who may hear us down the road. God bless.